Nick Clegg bread

EU - let down by Cameron

I am almost lost for words........

Until Dave comes up with a better answer than "sorry that's that then" I won't be voting Conservative again.

I can't help harbouring the nagging suspicion that he's secretly pleased by the result (shame on me).

What to do next?

Answers on the back of a postcard please Bloglanders (or if it's more convenient in the comments).

Why do restaurants think we like crunchy green beans?

Tonight we dined out at Jamie's restaurant in Bath - the green beans looked lovely but had barely met the steamer. The staff were very nice - they took them away and promised us more - they were the same - we laughed and enjoyed our meal. They were very nice and without prompting didn't charge us for the green beans.

BUT my question is what is it about green beans that makes chefs think we like not cooked beans? I don't want them soggy but I don't want them to make my teeth squeak as I eat them either.

Gordon Brown - "Do the decent thing"

Dear Mr Brown

Thank you for trying to serve your country, I think you would be the first to agree however that your recent attempts have fallen somewhat short of the minimum standard required for a competent Prime minister. In the circumstances I think that the best action would be for you to "do the decent thing" and call a general election. I know this must come as a blow to you but there is really no point hanging on as there is no prospect of an early recovery. Why don't you just settle down to concoct your autobiography in a quiet spot in your home town, a change of scene would certainly do you good as I have to say you have been looking a little worn of late.

I strongly believe this is the right thing for you to do.

Yours Sincerely

Mrs Smallprint

And the undersigned

John M Ward http://wwwjohn-m-ward.blogspot.com/

CLEMMOW HORNBY INGE THE NAKED TRUTH

According to Companies House, Clemmow Hornby Inge Limited used to be called "Naked Inside Limited". The change was made on 04/06/07, was this to spare political blushes?

Update

Further investigation reveals that this was probably just "parking the name" after the company which trades now as CHI & Partners Ltd changed its name from Clemmow Hornby Inge Ltd. I doubt the naked truth will ever be revealed but I live in hope.

NEW PRESS OFFICER JOINS THE TEAM

I am delighted to announce the appointment of a new team member. Chino has joined us as press officer. So if you have a bone to pick with me he will be happy to help.

UPDATE: Chino decided he didn't like the name he arrived with and has requested to be called Boris Dogson in future.

SANTA BOOT CAMP

http://navydads.blogspot.com/2008/12/north-pole-boot-camp.html

This made me laugh.

OVER OR UNDER REGULATION

It's not alright to accept cash payments of more than 15000 euros or equivalent or provide any form of Accountancy service (including self employed book keeping) without being registered with HMRC or an approved professional body.

It is alright to invest billions of other people's money without using one iota of common sense.

If it seems too good to be true it probably is, if a multi-billion dollar fund has a firm of Auditors consisting of one man, his secretary and a retired chap in Florida then the chances are that the accounts may have a few black holes.

BBC - STRICTLY VOTERS GOT IT WRONG AGAIN

Reading between the lines I presume the reason for all three couples going through to next weeks 'Strictly' final is the failure of the public to vote correctly. The couple with the lowest mark was obviously voted through which would have forced the judges to choose between the two couples they voted joint top. Sacre bleu, judges revolt!

Why can't anyone accept the first past the post system any more?

It seems to me that all our institutions are heading the same way, the great unwashed may only have a vote if they use it correctly. It's not good enough, when I vote I want it to count (I don't do TV votes, I just commentate). The EU's shameful behaviour over the 'Constitution by any other name' has been truely disgraceful, as of course has our own Government's by not allowing us a vote because they can't trust us to give them the right answer.

THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND THE LEMMINGS

Lemming no. 1 - "Lets jump off a cliff"

Lemming no. 2 - "Why"

Lemming no. 1 - "Because it's the right thing to do"

Lemming no. 2 - "Okay then you always know the right thing to do"

Lemming no. 3 - "But I don't want to jump to my death"

Lemming no. 2 - "You have to because we have a consensus and it's the right thing to do and besides if you don't jump you will be the odd one out and nobody wants that do they?"

So they all hold hands like good friends should and jump off the cliff, smug in the knowledge that although they are all going to die it was the "right thing to do".

BBC - GLOBAL WARMING SLIP UP

Is Carol Kirkwood for the weather forecasting high jump after breaking the BBC's goldon rule this morning?

On one of her forecasts she actually said that temperatures were still BELOW AVERAGE for the time of year. This could surely have her hauled up before the BBC thought police and accused of "Global warming denial", poor thing.

Charlie dog had one of his periodic trims yesterday, this will of course guarantee that the weather will be horrible and cold and I will be accused of poodle abuse for cutting off some of his duvet (not true as I trim with scissors not the horrible short back and sides clippers). Perhaps I should post warnings on the blog of when his trim is due so that Bloglanders know to wrap up extra warm, it would certainly be a better guide to the weather than the global warming mentalists give.

GORDY SAVES THE WORLD

Many a slip 'tween cup and lip - so now we know that Gordon Brown really does believe he's saved the WORLD.

Delusional or what?

WIND POWER DANGER

I wonder what master mind thought building an enormous wind turbine only 65m from peoples' homes was a good SAFE IDEA. Unfortunately they have turned out to be incorrect and it was more luck than judgement that nobody was injured.

"The Danish government will not accept turbines being built within 600 metres of homes or businesses, and we have a turbine 65 metres from my son's home," he said. "If the ice hit someone, it would definitely kill them."

Full story here
http://www.wisbech-standard.co.uk/content/wisbech/news/story.aspx?brand=CATOnline&category=NewsWisbech&tBrand=HertsCambsOnline&tCategory=newslatestWIS&itemid=WEED03%20Dec%202008%2014%3A43%3A38%3A410

Why do the powers that be allow commercial interests to override the safety of residents, surely common sense alone should allow a margin for error.

SPORTS PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR

I can't understand why Gordy the super hero is not on the list for sports personality of the year. Without doubt he has provided more sport than all the other politicians put together this year. Bloglanders should be grateful to him for providing inspiration when all other topics fail. 'Gold for Gordy' that's my motto (whoops - I forgot he sold most of our gold at knock down prices). Any suggestions?

LIGHTEN UP

I have tried to turn off the politics in my brain today, a tricky thing to do at the best of times. I have been out in the sunshine in the garden, cutting things back and generally tidying up. It really was a lovely day in sunny Somerset. Around lunchtime we had a brief touch of politics listening to any questions then it was over to channel four for the racing. I love jump racing and decided to venture 5 e.w. on Sunnyhill boy who squeaked in for me at 7/1 (no credit crunch here then).

Then cooking dinner while watching and criticising Strictly. One minor crisis when having wrapped the plump little partridges in pancetta I suddenly realised we had no potatoes (now Mr. S. could have done the 10 mile round trip to the supermarket at this point) but instead I improvised with a smoked almond and cranberry pilaf (yum yum). All's well that ends well, we are now tucked up with a glass of vino in front of the wood burner (Charlie is flat out on the floor fast asleep having had a 'divi' of partridge, which of course is his due).

Back on the attack tomorrow, until then Bloglanders.